{"id":7873,"date":"2015-04-25T09:30:05","date_gmt":"2015-04-25T13:30:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/?p=7873"},"modified":"2015-04-25T09:30:05","modified_gmt":"2015-04-25T13:30:05","slug":"mentoring-with-purpose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/mentoring-with-purpose\/","title":{"rendered":"Mentoring with purpose"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cooper Wright graduated from West Point in 1966. The youthful looking 70-year-old sports a trim beard and belies his age by a decade. He still hikes, skis, backpacks and works out at a local gym several times a week.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7986\" src=\"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/FullSizeRender-1-222x300.jpg\" alt=\"FullSizeRender (1)\" width=\"222\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/FullSizeRender-1-222x300.jpg 222w, http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/FullSizeRender-1-445x600.jpg 445w, http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/FullSizeRender-1.jpg 618w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 222px) 100vw, 222px\" \/>He is also preternaturally friendly and talkative. Within moments of meeting him the typical reaction is, \u201cI like this guy\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>During his years as a cadet, mentoring in the conventional sense was not something Wright experienced.<\/p>\n<p>Rather, his instructors&#8212;most often military officers&#8212;shared combat stories with their students. \u201cThat was really the first mentoring I had,\u201d Wright said.<\/p>\n<p>Other support included the ability to pick up the phone and talk with an instructor to get extra classroom assistance.<\/p>\n<p>One such instructor was Norman Schwarzkopf, who later served as Commander-in-Chief, United States Central Command. He led all coalition forces during the Persian Gulf War.<\/p>\n<p>Nonetheless, mentoring in the military in the 1960s was not the counseling of today.\u00a0 But the Academy was to adopt it by the time Wright returned to teach at West Point less than a decade later.<\/p>\n<p>During his student days it was \u201cperhaps a sign of weakness\u201d to reach out and help somebody. There was a sponsor program in place where an officer invited a cadet to dinner in his home. But it was more duty than mentoring.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn&#8217;t feel any close attachment with my sponsor and couldn\u2019t really share what was going on in my head. It was just something he did,\u201d recalls Wright.<\/p>\n<p>Upon gradation, Wright attended Airborne and Ranger schools and was sent to Vietnam as a young Captain in the Army Rangers.<\/p>\n<p>In the theater of war there was little time to sit down and talk with the men under his command. Action simply moved too fast. \u201cThere wasn\u2019t time for it. You were just trying to do your job. You didn\u2019t have the luxury to sit back and talk with someone,\u201d said Wright.<\/p>\n<p>He served two nine month tours before returning to teach mathematics at the Academy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>In the classroom<\/strong><br \/>\nBack at West Point, Wright became involved in a lot of cadet activities. \u201cI had the time and cadets would come over to my house; but not because I was a sponsor. They came because knew they could talk to me,\u201d said Wright.<\/p>\n<p>He had the gift of being able to communicate. \u201cBut mostly I listened. The best way to be a mentor is listening. They shared what was going on in their lives and what their problems were. The worst thing is to offer a solution. It was up to them to find a solution,\u201d Wright underscored.<\/p>\n<p>His mentoring technique included bouncing ideas off the soon-to-be warriors. He posed questions such as \u201cHave your thought about this? Or have you thought about that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Results from his Academy mentoring did not always bear immediate or obvious fruit.<\/p>\n<p>To point, years later Wright was in New Orleans attending a military conference. It was during Mardi Gras and one evening while strolling the French Quarter a young officer approached him and said, \u201cMajor Wright you were my best math instructor.\u201d Wright had no clue.<\/p>\n<p>A similar incidence occurred at a West Point conference. While enjoying a drink during cocktail hour, another young officer came up to him and said, \u201cAren&#8217;t you Major Wright who taught math?<\/p>\n<p>Wright confirmed that he was. \u201cWell, you\u2019re not buying that drink. You took care of me and I\u2019m buying.\u201d Wright hadn\u2019t realized he had assisted the young man at a pivotal time in his career.<\/p>\n<p>Wright recalls another cadet who would come over to his house to simply talk. The young man knew there wasn\u2019t going to be any judgments made. He knew someone was there to simply listen and offer advice. If advice was asked for.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Second career<\/strong><br \/>\nWright retired as a lieutenant colonel and pursued a second career in business. During this period he became in involved in Venturing, a youth development program of the Boy Scouts of America. It\u2019s designed for young men and women between the ages of 14 and 20.<\/p>\n<p>Today, he is amazed that the young scouts he worked with years ago not only stay in touch but invite him to the baptisms of their kids and other events.<\/p>\n<p>One story involves an older scout. \u201dI told all the kids, \u2018Look, I don\u2019t want you out drinking. You are under age. But if some night you are in a situation where you know you can\u2019t drive, call me. I will come and pick you up and take you home. And I won\u2019t ask any questions.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, one kid did exactly that. Today, he is a captain in the Marine Corps and the father of three children,\u201d Wright said.<\/p>\n<p>Wright reinforces that mentoring is the business of really being a trusted friend; being someone the person can talk to.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not easy for a young person to develop a trusting relationship with an adult because they are exposing themselves. They\u2019re opening themselves up. And they are telling you something they may or may not be able to tell their parents,\u201d Wright said.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Getting involved<\/strong><br \/>\nMentoring is not a one-way line of communication. Wright believes it is a great opportunity for both the mentor and mentee. \u201cSo many kids out there are looking for an opportunity to communicate with adults.\u201d It is rewarding for both parties.<\/p>\n<p>Wright\u2019s wife Linda was also a mentor with a Rappahannock County group called Starfish. One girl she worked with was eight-years-old. Today, the woman is 20 and still stays in contact with her.<\/p>\n<p>Wright is committed to mentoring whenever an opportunity presents itself. He advises those interested in pursuing such work to look for opportunities in the right places.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnyone who has an inclination to do this should find an organization like the scouts, Starfish, or church groups because that\u2019s where the kids are.\u201d He also advises that established youth groups will require background checks for adults working with youth.<\/p>\n<p>Wright is now fully retired and pursues a host of activities, including serving as board chairman of the Piedmont Symphony Orchestra. The PSO has launched a Music Mentors residency program that Wright supports.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-7988\" src=\"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/West-Point-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"West Point\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/>He also maintains closes ties with West Point, especially its Professional Military Ethics program. The program involves former graduates meeting quarterly with cadets and discussing ethical problems.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe cadets are given an ethical problem with no right or wrong answer. They hash it out and at the end of the discussion the old grads are asked \u2018Did something like this happen in your career? And if so, what did you do? And what was the impact of your decision? Was it good or bad?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am really pleased to see that West Point has developed training programs where the focus in on leadership,\u201d Wright said. Mentoring is part of the turnaround from his days as a cadet.<\/p>\n<p>When asked what advice he\u2019d share with someone who wanted to pursue mentoring, his response is immediate. \u201cBe a mentor. Be a friend. It\u2019s wonderful for the mentee. And it\u2019s wonderful for you. You become part of that person\u2019s life. A trusted part of that person\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sound advice coming from an officer and a gentleman.<\/p>\n<p>Published in the Spring 2015 edition of The Business Journal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cooper Wright graduated from West Point in 1966. The youthful looking 70-year-old sports a trim beard and belies his age by a decade. He still hikes, skis, backpacks and works out at a local gym several times a week. He is also preternaturally friendly and talkative. Within moments of meeting him the typical reaction is, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[5],"tags":[748,751,750,749,753,752],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hagarty-on-wine.com\/OnWineBlog\/mentoring-with-purpose\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mentoring with purpose - Hagarty On Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Cooper Wright graduated from West Point in 1966. 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